While volunteering in a soup kitchen, I hit it off with a very attractive, single man. It was a relief since my mother and I always laughed at the fact that the men I was drawn to were inevitably married.

So, optimistic about my chances, I asked my new friend what he did for a living.

He replied, “I’m a priest.”

I was visiting a friend who could not find her cordless phone. After several minutes of searching, her young daughter spoke up.

“You know what they should invent? A phone that stays connected to its base so it never gets lost.”

I should have known better than to take my four-year-old son shopping with me. I spent the entire time in the mall chasing after him. Finally, I’d had it.

"Do you want a stranger to take you?!" I scolded.

Thrilled, he yelled back, "That depends, will HE take me to the zoo?"

The owner of a company tells his employees, “You worked very hard this year, therefore the company’s profits increased dramatically. As a reward, I'm giving everyone a check for $5,000!”

Thrilled, the employees gather round and high five one another.

“And if you work with the same zeal next year, I'll sign those checks!”