After he lost a lot of money at a blackjack table in the casino, a customer stood up and yelled, "How do you lose $200 at a $2 table?!"
Before I could speak, another customer replied, "Patience... a whole lot of patience."
Freelance newspaper writers don’t get nearly as much attention as writers with regular bylines.
So I was delighted when I finally got some notice. It was at the bank, and I was depositing a stack of checks.
"Wow," said the teller, reading off the names of publishers from the tops of the checks. "You must deliver a lot of newspapers!"
On a billboard ad for a safe company...
"If your stuff is stolen, it’s not our vault!"
My husband, an attorney, is frequently consulted by clients who, after learning what the cost of legal services will be, decide to do without his aid.
Recently the elderly minister of a small, struggling church came in with a legal problem.
After patiently listening to an explanation of my husband’s fees, he left the office with a prudent, "Thank you, sir, but I believe I’ll just pray this one through."