Arriving at the airport my buddy looked visibly shaken. I asked him, "Are you okay? What's the matter?"

Looking bewildered, he replied, "It'll pass. Every time I have to fly, I get a terminal illness."

Why is a kangaroo like a pool table?

They both have side pockets!

Did you hear? Chef Careless was arrested for assault. He was caught whipping the cream and beating the eggs!

So, how do you get down off this elephant?

You don't. You get down off a goose.