My first apartment was so close to the Airport...
That every time I went to the kitchen to make a brew and a sandwich, the stewardess told me to get back to my seat.
So I think it's a disgrace on society and our education system when after 50 years, most people have no idea who Neil Armstrong is.
Or what kind of trumpet he played!
Why can’t Satan’s cheerleading squad win any competitions?
Because they have literally no chants in Hell.
Got an e-mail today from a "bored housewife 32, looking for some action!"
So I sent her my ironing, that'll keep her busy.