Several elderly nuns were in their second floor convent one night when a fire broke out.

They took their habits off, tied them together to make a rope, and climbed out the window.

After they were safely on the ground and out of the building, a news reporter came over to one of the nuns and said to her, "Weren't you afraid that the habits could have ripped or broken since they are old?"

The nun replied, "Nah, don't you know old habits are hard to break!"

If you see someone buying candy, popcorn, and soda at the movies, they must be a drug dealer...

There's no other explanation for that type of income!

I never make the same mistake twice.

I do it like, five or six times, you know, to make sure.