Quote me as saying I was misquoted...

There was once a wise man who loved a beautiful young maiden. She lived in a marsh where his car always got stuck. In addition, her father had a gun, so he never did get close enough to tell her of his passion.

However, she had a more energetic suitor who purchased amphibious tires for his car and, when her father was asleep, speedily carried her off.

Moral: Treads rush in where wise men fear to fool.

Time wounds all heels.

I was married by a judge...

I should have asked for a jury.