Mother: “Why are you home from school so early?”

Son: “I was the only one who could answer a question.”

Mother: “Oh, really? What was the question?”

Son: “Who threw the eraser at the principal.”

My husband was driving home from work when he was pulled over for not wearing his seat belt.

Two days later – same ticket, same cop.

“So,” the officer said, “have you learned anything?”

“Yes, I have,” said my husband. “I’ve learned I need to take a different way home from work.”

Does Time pass? Yes, it does.

How else can you explain the credit card bills?

Death and taxes are inevitable...

But at least death doesn't get worse every year!