A manufacturer of electric light bulbs was talking to the owner of a theater. "I'd like to supply you with bulbs for your marquee," the manufacturer said, "and it won't cost you a penny. It will enable me to realize a lifelong ambition."

"If I accept the free bulbs," the curious theater manager asked, "will you tell me about this ambition of yours?"

"Certainly," the man said. "It's just that I've always dreamed of seeing my lights up in names!"

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain during root canal work?

He wanted to transcend-dental medication.

Very early one morning two birds are sitting at the side of a large puddle of oil. They see a worm on the other side. One bird flies over and the other one swims through the puddle.

Which one gets to the worm first?

The one who swam, of course, because, "da oily boid gets da woim."