In my house, there is this light switch that doesn’t do anything.

Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check.

Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, “Cut it out.”

-- A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants.
-- Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
-- The more garbage you put up with, the more garbage you are going to get.
-- You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
-- Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
-- Never ask two questions in a business letter. The reply will discuss the one you are least interested in, and say nothing about the other.
-- When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
-- If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
-- There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.
-- Mother said there would be days like this, but she never said there would be so many.

USEFUL MEDICAL TERMS

Artery Study of Paintings
Bacteria Back door to cafeteria
Barium What to do when treatment fails
Bowels Letters like A, E, I, O, U
Cat scan Searching for kitty
Colic Sheep dog
Coma Punctuation mark
D & C Where Washington is
Enema Not a friend
Hangnail Coat hook
Impotent Distinguished; well known