Teacher: "Make a sentence that starts with 'I'."
Bobby: "I is..."
Teacher: "No, Bobby. You should say 'I am', never 'I is'."
Bobby: "Okay. I am the 9th letter of the alphabet."
The teacher asks: "Now, Susan, how many fingers have you?"
Susan: "Ten."
Teacher: "Right. Now if you lost four of them, what would you have?"
Susan: "No more piano lessons."
What is ambition?
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
My husband was going on a diet, but when we pulled into a fast-food restaurant, he ordered a milkshake. I pointed out that a shake isn't exactly the best snack for someone who wants to lose weight. He agreed, but he didn't change his order.
The long line must have given him time to make the connection between his order and his waistline. As the woman handed him his shake, she said, "Sorry about the wait."
"That's okay," he replied. "I'm going to lose it."