Sign on a maternity room door...

"Push, Push, Push!"

An old guy was working out in the gym when he spotted an attractive young lady.

He asked a nearby trainer, "What machine should I use to impress that lady over there?"

The trainer looked him up and down and said, "I would try the ATM in the lobby.

On the farm where I was raised, home canning was a big thing. Most folks had a garden and ate out of it all summer, the surplus was put up in bottles for the winter.

The common saying was:
"WE EAT WHAT WE CAN, AND WHAT WE CAN'T, WE CAN."