Why did the cat want to join the Red Cross?
He wanted to be a first aid kit!
"I must have the worst job on earth."
"Why do you say that?"
"I work at the circus as a human cannon ball and I get fired every day."
This sailor fell off the crows nest on a sailing ship and fell trough the first deck and the second deck of the ship.
The captain went up to the sailor and asked if he was all right.
"I am all right," said the sailor. "I have been through hardships before."