Why couldn’t the astronaut book a room on the moon?
It was full.
What’s the difference between love and marriage?
Love is one long, sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.
Why didn’t the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees!
Recently, I woke up to find that two of my car’s tires had been stolen. When the police officer arrived, he asked, “When were you last driving the car?”
“Last night at 11:00,” I said.
“And the tires were on it then?”