It must be almost Christmas....
.... because I just saw Easter eggs for sale.
When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a surprise house-warming party.
Now I'm homeless.
I told my boss, “Sorry I’m late. I was having computer issues.”
"Hard drive?" he asked.
"No, the commute was fine. It’s my laptop."
I asked the surgeon if I could administer my own anesthetic.
He said, "Sure, knock yourself out!"