There can be 100 people in a room...
And 99 won't slap you, but one Will.
What's the difference between a vegan and a computer programmer?
One is disgusted by a rack of lamb and the other is disgusted by a lack of RAM.
Why does Spider-Man's calendar only have 11 months?
He lost May.
Waiter: I see your glass is empty, would you like another one?
My Dad: Why would I want two empty glasses?