Me: I'm very sorry, but my dog ate my homework.
Computer Science Professor: Your dog ate your coding assignment?
Me: ...
Prof: ...
Me: Well, it took him a couple bytes.
"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light-bulb?"
"That's an interesting question... how many do YOU think? And why are you asking?"
I don't know why most people think a dog's life is so easy.
Every time I come home from work, I ask my dog how his day went.
He always says, "Rough!"