What do you see when the smog lifts in Los Angeles?
U.C.L.A...
Mrs. Smith: My husband's face fell a mile when he first saw the Grand Canyon.
Mrs. Jones: Was he that disappointed?
Mrs. Smith: No, he fell into the canyon.
An Eskimo mother was reading to her small daughter in their igloo. She began, "Little Jack Horner sat in a corner..."
"What's a corner?" the little girl asked.
It's so cold in Alaska that:
... someone stabbed himself with an icicle and died of cold cuts!
... babies are brought by penguins, not by storks!