First Freshman in Math Exam: "How far are you from the correct answer?"
Second Freshman in Math Exam: "About two seats away."
A youngster was being shown a new baby who was very bald.
"Where did he come from?" he asked.
"From Heaven," replied a nurse.
Turning to his mother, the boy said, "Gee, they cut hair close in heaven, don't they?"
A professor reproved his students for coming late to class. "This is a class in English composition," he remarked with sarcasm, "not an afternoon tea."
At the next meeting, one girl was twenty minutes late. The professor waited until she had taken her seat. Then he remarked bitingly, "How will you have your tea Miss Jones?"
"Without the lemon, please," Miss Jones answered quite gently.
Student: "Professor, I can't go to class today."
Professor: "Why?"
Student: "I don't feel well."
Professor: "Where don't you feel well?"
Student: "In class."