A couple of guys were discussing the latest play showing in the theater.

"I saw the first act, but not the second."

"Why not?"

"I couldn't wait that long. It said on the program that the second act was two years later."

"Last week a grain of sand got into my wife's eye and she had to go to the doctor. It cost me fifty dollars."

"That's nothing, last week a fur got in my wife's eye and it cost me five hundred dollars."

After a round of golf two guys, one a newlywed, were at the 19th hole talking about the recent marriage.

First golfer: "You say you are your wife's third husband?"

Newlywed: "No, I am her fourth husband."

First golfer: "Heavens man, you are not a husband, you are a habit."

The Sunday School teacher was asking why Little Johnny was late.

"I was going fishing but my father would not let me," replied Little Johnny.

"You are lucky to have a fine father like this. I am sure he explained to you why you should not go fishing on Sunday."

"Yes Ma'ma. He said there just was not enough bait for both of us to go."