A conceited new rookie was pitching his first game.
He walked the first five men he faced and the manager took him out of the game.
The rookie slammed his glove on the ground as he yelled, "Darn it, the jerk took me out when I had a no-hitter going!"
My wife asked me why I was doing the dishes while sitting down.
Told her it's because I can't stand doing it.
I found a vinyl record called "Sounds of the Wasps."
When I played it, I said to myself, "This doesn't sound like wasps."
I was right. I was playing the B-side.
My favorite childhood memory is building sand castles with my grandfather...
Until my mother took the urn from me.