Sam: Dad, would you do my math homework for me?
Dad: No, son, it wouldn’t be right.
Sam: Well, at least you could try.

Little Sue was standing in front of her mirror with her eyes closed.
“Why are you standing there with your eyes closed?” asked her sister.
“So I can see what I look like when I’m asleep,” she replied.

The prison officer tells the warden, “Sir, I have to report that ten prisoners have broken out.”

The alarmed warden says, “Blow the whistles, sound the alarms, alert the police!"

With a surprised look the officer says, “Shouldn’t we call the doctor first? It looks as if it might be measles."

After the telephone was installed in her home, the lady called the operator.
“My telephone cord is too long,” she said. “Would you please pull it a little from your end?”