Why was the glowworm unhappy?
Because her children were not very bright!

When visiting South Africa, Daniel the Englishman asked a South African the question:
"Why is it that some South Africans say 'Ja' (pronounced as "ya") while others say 'Yes' if they have the same meanings?"
"Clever people say 'Yes' while stupid people say 'Ja'," was his reply.
"So, are you clever?" asked Daniel.
"Ja," replied the South African.

What did the Pacific Ocean say to the Atlantic Ocean? Nothing; It just waved.

What's the difference between a flea-bitten dog and a bored visitor?

One's going to itch, the other's itching to go!