A man was applying for a job as a prison guard. The warden said, “Now these are real tough guys in here. Can handle it?”

“No problem,” the applicant replied. “If they don’t behave, out they go!”

Fire swept the plains and burned down the farmer’s barn. While he surveyed the wreckage, his wife called their insurance company and asked them to send a check for $75,000, the amount of insurance on the barn. “We don’t give you the money,” a company official explained. “We replace the barn and all the equipment in it.”
“In that case,” replied the wife, “cancel the policy I have on my husband.”

A gentleman entered a busy florist shop that displayed a large sign that read “Say It with Flowers.”
“Wrap up one rose” he told the florist.
“Only one?” the florist asked.
“Just one,” the customer replied
“I’m a man of few words.”

A man tells his friend, Las Vegas is loaded with all kinds of gambling devices.
“Dice tables, slot machines, and wedding chapels.”