The policeman was interviewing the man whose store had jus been robbed.
“It’s bad,” said the owner, “but it’s not as bad as it would have been if he’d robbed me yesterday.”
“Why is that?” the policeman asked
“Because today everything was on sale.”

The judge frowned at the tired robber and said, “then you admit breaking into the same store on three successive nights?” ”Yes, your honor.”
“And why was that?” “Because my wife wanted a dress.”
The judge check with his records, “But it says here you broke in three nights in a row!”
“Yes sir. She made me exchange it two times.”

Mr. Parker saw his son’s shiner and demanded, “Jimmy, who gave you that black eye?”
“No one,” replied the spunky child. “I had to fight for it.”

Carl asked, “Got anything to cure fleas on a dog?”
“That depends,” the slow-minded vet replied.
“What’s wrong with them?”