After reading the complicated instructions for the automatic teller, the confused customer walked over to a bank officer. “Excused me,” said the customer, “but I was wondering if you could help me out.” “Certainly,” smiled the officer. “Go right through that door.”

Mr. Johnson walked anxiously to the house and knocked. When a nice old lady answered, he said very sad, “I’m sorry, madam, but I have some bad news. “I’m afraid I have run over your cat. I… I would like to replace it.”
The little lady looked him up and down and said, “I’m game, but how are you at catching mice?”

The nurse burst into the doctor’s office. “Doctor! She yelled, “you just gave a clean bill of health to Mr. Smith and … and he dropped dead right outside the door!”
The doctor jumped into action. “Quick,” he said, “We’ve got to turn him around so it looks like he was just coming in!”

“I’ll have you know,” said the snob to his date, “my father is a famous man in this town.
He’s a Lion...a Moose…and an Elk.”
“Wow!” said his date, “and what do you charge to see him?”