The vocalist was practicing in the church with all the windows open.
As she stepped outside what a whiff of fresh air, she noticed the gardener trimming the shrubs. “How did you like my execution?” she asked.
The gardener without turning to look at her said, “I’m in favor of it.”

A man traveling through the country stopped at a small roadside fruit stand and bought some apples. When he mentioned they were awfully small, the farmer replied, “Yup”
The man took a bite of one of the apples and exclaimed, “Not very flavorful, either.”
“That’s right,” said the farmer. “Lucky they’re small, ain’t it?”

A traveling salesman was held up in the west by a rainstorm and flood. He e-mails his office in NY: “Delayed by storm. Send instructions”
His boss e-mails back: “Start vacation immediately”

Looking down at his patient, the doctor decided to tell him the truth. “I fell that I must tell you: You are a very sick man. I’m sure you would want to know the facts. I don’t think you have much time left. Now, is there anyone you would like to see?”
Bending down toward the sick man, the doctor heard him softly answer, “Yes.”
“Who is it?”
In a little stronger tone, the patient said, “Another doctor.”