A doctor calls his patient and says, "The check you gave me for my bill came back?"

The patient replied, "Well, so did my arthritis."

A traveling salesman was held up in the west by a rainstorm and flood. He e-mails his office in NY: “Delayed by storm. Send instructions”
His boss e-mails back: “Start vacation immediately”

Two barbershops were in red-hot competition. One put up a sign advertising haircuts for $7 dollars.

His competitor put one up that read, “We repair $7 dollars hair cuts!”

A Panhandler who was working Wall Street one day approached a dignified businessman and asked him for some money. The man replied, “I’m very sorry, but I never give money to people in the street.”
The panhandler replied, “What should I do? Come up to your office?