Q: Why did the man fall off the building?
A: He tripped.
Q: How many animals were on Moses ark?
A: The ark wasn't Moses’ it was Noah.
Q: How many idiots does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 500, 1 to hold the light bulb and 499 to turn the house.
Son: Dad, You are my hero.
Dad: Really?
Son: Yes. Can you give me an autograph with your eyes closed?
Dad: Well, yes, of course.
Son: That's great! Then here, close your eyes and sign my report card.