A man took a bag of light bulbs back to the shop and asked for his money back, the manager asked, “why do you want your money back? The man replied, I planted every one of those light bulbs and not one of them flowered!

A wealthy ninety years old tycoon is meeting with is financial advisor. The advisor is very excited and tells the old man. “ I just found out about an investment I can make for you which will double your money in just five years!”
“Five years? Are you kidding?” exclaims the old man. “At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.”

A man took a bag of light bulbs back to the shop and asked for his money back, the manager asked, “why do you want your money back? The man replied, I planted every one of those light bulbs and not one of them flowered!

“What on earth do you think you are doing?” roared a shop-owner to a man who had walked in and licked all the goods.
The man pointed to a sigh and said, “Well, that notice says ‘Tongue Sandwiches’”.