Two drunks were staggering home along a railway line. “This is the longest staircase I’ve ever climbed, moaned one.
“It certainly is,” slurred his body. “And the banister’s so low; my back’s killing me.”

As a distinguished matron approached the church entrance, a little boy stepped aside and held the door for her.

"What a polite little doorman," she said as she walked through. "Is there a tip involved?"

"Oh, no," answered the young man. "My mother taught me never to be good for money, but always to be good for nothing."

A father came home from work one night to find his little boy sitting on the cat, with a pen and paper in his hand.
“Why are you sitting on Felix?” he asked.
“Well, teacher told us to write an essay on the family pet.”

As a distinguished matron approached the church entrance, a little boy stepped aside and held the door for her.

"What a polite little doorman," she said as she walked through. "Is there a tip involved?"

"Oh, no," answered the young man. "My mother taught me never to be good for money, but always to be good for nothing."