“Sir, there’s a debt collector in the outer office.”
“Tell him he can take that pile on my desk”

A man traveling over 125 miles per hour on the interstate was stopped by a highway patrol. “Sorry, officer,” said the driver, “was I driving too fast?
“No, sir. Our were flying too low.”

The police officer: “You were exceeding the speed limit, ma’am, weren’t you?”
The driver: “Yes, I was, sir, but you see my brakes are so bad that I wanted to get home before I had an accident.”

“How long will be the next bus be, Officer?”
“About eight yards, sir.”