Customer: This loaf is lovely and warm!
Baker: So it should be ma’am. The cat’s been sitting on it all morning!

“How should I have played that last shot?” the bad golfer asked his partner.
“Under an assumed name.”

Doug had just formed his own rock band, and his little brother said one day,
“Doug, I wish you and your band could be on TV!”
“You think we’re good, eh?”
“Then I could turn you off!”

“Hello, Ginger!” Her brother called cheerily to his sister.
“Don’t call me Ginger!” she snapped furiously. “My hair is the color of gold.”
“Yeah,” he replied with a jeer, “twenty-two carrots!”