On their first evening in their new home the bride went in to the kitchen to fix drinks. Five minutes later she came back into the living room in tears.
“What’s the matter, my angel?” asked her husband anxiously.
“Oh, Steven! She sobbed, “I put the ice cubes in hot water to wash them and now they’ve disappeared!”
Mr. and Mrs. Smith were celebrating their silver anniversary with a big party, at which the center of attraction was a huge cake. “This cake was made by my wife’s fair hands,” said Mr. Smith proudly. “Every year on our anniversary she makes a cake, and I like to think of them as milestones on our journey through life ….”
His girlfriend’s father was interviewing Young Charles.
“So,” said the father, “you want to be my son-in-law, do you?"
“No, not particularly,” said Charles tactlessly, “but if I want to marry your daughter I haven’t much choice, have I?”
One guy says to another, “Last week I took the first step towards getting divorced.”
“Did you see a lawyer?”
“No, I got married.”