What did the hot dog say when he crossed the finish line?
I’m the wiener!
“Hi? Is this the mental hospital?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Can I speak to Mr. Scott in room ten?
“One moment and I’ll connect you …. I’m sorry, Mr. Scott in not answering.”
“Good. That means I must have really escaped.”
Doctor: What’s wrong with your bother?
Boy: He thinks he is a chicken.
Doctor: really? How long has this been going on?
Boy: Five years.
Doctor: Five years!
Boy: We would have brought him in earlier, but we needed the eggs.
A man walks into the psychiatrist’s office with a zucchini up his nose, a cucumber in his left ear, and a breadstick in his right ear. He says, “What is wrong with me?
The psychiatrist replies, “You are not eating properly.”