Waiter: And how did you find your steak, sir?
Customer: Well, I just pushed aside a bean and there it was!

A young guy at a bar: “Hey, bartender. Pour me a cold one.”
“Hey, go on, kid, you wanna get me in trouble?”
“Maybe later. Right now I just wanna a beer.”

An antartian walks into a bar down south around Christmastime; and there’s a little nativity scene on the bar. And the guy says, “That’s a nice nativity scene. But how come the three wise men are wearing firemen’s hats?” And the bartender says, “Well, it says right there in the Bible…. The three wise men came from a fire.”

A man at a restaurant asks the waiter, “How do you prepare your chickens?
The waiter replies, “Nothing special. We just tell’em they’re gonna die.”