The old accountant retired after forty years, and on the top drawer of his desk they found a note that said: “debits in the columns toward the file cabinet. Credits in the column toward the window.”

Computers can never replace humans. They may become capable of artificial intelligence, but they will never master real stupidity.

Q: What is a programmer?
A: Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way
You do not understand.

Patient: Doctor I have a sore throat, I ache, and have a fever.
Doctor: Sounds like some kind of virus.
Patient: Everyone in the office has it.
Doctor: Well then, maybe it’s a staff infection