“Doctor,” said the patient, “I need help! I can’t stop acting like a cat!”
“How long have you had this problem?” the doctor asked.
“Lest’s see,” said the patient, “Mom had the litter in ’41…

Called to the scene of a magnificent celestial display, the professor watched as a bright object dashed through the skies over New Mexico.

When he returned to his observatory, reporters asked him if what he had seen was really a UFO.

Looking them straight in the eye, the impassive scientist replied, “No comet.”

“Doc!” the man yells. I’ve lost my memory!”
“Calm down, sir. When did this happen.”
The man looked at him. “When did what happen?”

A young woman greeted the census taker. “Good morning,” said the caller, “I’m taking the census and I’d like to ask you a few questions. Occupation?”

“Homemaker,” replied the woman.

“Husband’s occupation?”

“Manufacturer.”

“Children?”

“No,” said the woman. “Dresses.”