“I used to be in show business. I had a very spectacular act.”
“What did you do?”
“I used to dive into a wet sponge from a height of fifty feet.
But then I broke my neck.”
“Did you miss the sponge?”
“No. Some idiot squeezed it dry”

There was a young woman who was very much interested in marrying this wealthy
Old gentleman.
After he proposed, she suggested, “we might even have some children!”
The old gentleman replied, “Oh, no, my parents won’t let me.”
“What do you mean?” asked the young woman
“Who are your parents?” He replied, “Mother Nature and Father time.”

Look over there! Said the frightened skunk to his pal.
“There’s a human with a gun, and he’s getting closer and closer! What are we going to do?”
To which the second skink calmly replied, “Let us spray ….”

Two fleas were walking out of a cinema when they discovered it was raining hard.
“Shall we walk?” said one flea.
“No,” said the other, “Let’s take a dog.”