Two eggs were in a pot, being boiled. One said to the other, “it’s so hot in here I don’t think I can stand it much longer.” The other replied, “Don’t grumble. As soon as they get you out of here, they bash your head with a spoon.”

How many cups of coffee will this hold?” the man asked as he placed a large thermos on the lunchroom counter.

“Six cups,” advised the waitress.

“Fine,” replied the man. “Give me two cups regular, two cups black, and two with extra cream."

The disgruntled diner summoned his waiter to the table, complaining, “My oyster stew doesn’t have any oysters in it.” “Well, if that bothers you, then you better skip dessert,” replied the waiter. “It’s anger food cake.”

Ours is a good restaurant, said the manager. “If you order an egg, you get the freshest egg in the world. If you order hot coffee, you get the hottest coffee in the world, and” –
“ I believe you,” said the customer. “I ordered a small steak”