The judge was instructing the jury that a witness was not necessarily to be regarded as untruthful because he changed his statement from one which he had previously made to the police. “For example,” he said, “when I entered my chambers today, I was sure I had my gold watch in my pocket. But then I remembered that I left in on my nightstand in my bedroom.”
When the judge returned home, his wife asked him, “Why so much urgency for your watch? Isn’t sending three men to get it a bit extreme?” “What?” said the judge, “I didn’t send anyone for my watch, let alone three people; what did you do?”
“I gave it to the first one,” said the wife. “He knew exactly where it was.”

Dotty came into the office all aflutter about her husband, “You won’t believe this, Terry, but George takes a fishing- pole into the bathroom and tosses the hook into the tub.”
“You’ve got to be kidding,” gasped Terry. “Don’t you think you should take him to a psychiatrist?” “No time,” replied Dotty with a shrug. “I’m too busy cleaning fish.”

It was an elegant dinner party and the hostess had left nothing to chance, except that a little water had splashed on the marble floor. And when the waiter came into the dining room carrying the beautiful roast suckling pig, he slipped and fell flat, sending the roast flying. “Don’t worry, Tomas,” said the hostess calmly. “Just take the roast back to the kitchen and bring out the other one.”

What’s the good part about Alzheimer’s diseased?
You keep meeting new friends.