Jim happened to bump into is friend Greg at the tennis club. “So, Jim said, “How’s it working out with that shrink I recommended.” “Great,” Greg said. “I mean, when I started, I was the most arrogant, self-impressed egomaniac on God’s green earth.” Now, he shrugged, “you couldn’t ask to meet a more terrific guy than me.”

Running into the house after school Tommy said to his mother, “Mom! Isn’t an ox a kind of a bull?”

“Yes, she replied.

“And doesn’t equine have something to do with horses?”

“That’s right,” she said.

Running out of the house, Tommy said, “I’ll see you later!”

“Why? Where are you going?” asked his mother.

“To some other town, I just heard in school that the equinox is coming and I don’t wanna be around when it gets here!”

Visiting a genealogist, a man asked how much it would cost to have his family tree traced. “It could cost thousands of dollars,” said the woman. “I see. Well, isn’t there an easier way? A less expensive way?” “Sure,” she replied. “Run for president.”

The lion tamer led his young apprentice into the cage. “The first thing to remember,” said the older man, “is that if a lion jumps at you, throw something at it.”
“And what do I do if there’s nothing to throw?”
The lion tamer said, “If a lion jumps at you __ there will be.”