Harold comes home from work one day. "I'm home, honey!" he says to his wife Joan. "You can serve the salad."

Joan tilts her head curiously. "How did you know we were having salad, dear?"

Harold replies, "I didn't smell anything burning."

Grandma: "Remember, Johnny, we should never put off til tomorrow what we can do today."

Little Johnny: "Okay, Grandma, that makes good sense, we'd better eat the rest of the cake then."

Little Penny sees Little Millie coming back from girl scouts with several new badges.

Penny: "Say, what didja get that badge for?"

Millie: "For singing."

Penny: "Ooh, nice! And what didja get that badge for?"

Millie: "For not singing anymore."

Joey would always come to school late and tell the teacher a big lie about what had made him late. Fed up with his lies, the teacher planned to tell Joey a bigger lie to teach him a lesson.

The next day, Joey came in late again "I'm sorry I'm late," he said. "I got up early this morning and went fishing in the pond on my way to school; I caught a big, heavy fish and took it home so my mom could get it ready for dinner. I couldn't walk very fast because carrying the fish slowed me down."

"Well, that's very interesting, because I had an experience of my own on my way to school." the teacher replied. "I was walking to class when I began to hear the sound of growling behind me. I turned around and saw an enormous grizzly stomping up to me; he was 30 feet tall, with razor sharp fangs, claws like knives and looked very hungry. Suddenly, a little dog ran out of the bushes, beat up the bear and gobbled him up. What do you think of that, Joey?"

Joey replied, "Oh yeah, that's my dog Spot."