Lady at shoe store: "Pardon me, but do you have any loafers?'

Store clerk: "Yes we do."

Lady: "Well, send one of them here to help me carry these boxes."

Madame Gloria: "Alfred, why didn't you water the garden yesterday?"

Alfred the butler: "It was raining, madam."

Madame Gloria: "Well, that's hardly an excuse, couldn't you have taken an umbrella?"

A tourist was driving down a deserted road when he came to a sign reading, "ROAD CLOSED. DO NOT ENTER." Looking at the road ahead, he thought it looked passable; assuming the sign must have been a mistake, he continued to drive on.

After driving for another mile or so, he came to a bridge that was out, upon which he turned around and began driving back. As he approached the sign from before, he noticed, written on the back, "I SAY, CAN'T YOU READ?"