Two hikers are walking up a mountain trail when a huge grizzly bear leaps out in front of them and roars. The first hiker gulps and sweats, frozen in fear; the other keeps his presence of mind and calmly advises, "Don't worry, just lie down and play dead and the bear will leave you alone."

"H-h-h-how do you know?" the first hiker asks.

"I read it in a book on wilderness survival."

"B-b-but what if the bear read the same book?"

Jordan: "By the way, did you know that I once sang for the Queen of Sheba?"

Bob: "No kidding, really?"

Jordan: "Well... That's what she told me, anyway. She said, 'If you're a singer, then I'm the Queen of Sheba.'"

A teenage boy had recently developed an interest in weight lifting. His father was skeptical, not knowing if his son would be responsible in this new venture, but accompanied him to the sports equipment store anyway. After perusing the shelves for a bit, the boy eventually found a set of weights he liked. "Dad, can we get these?"

The father looked the weight set over skeptically. "Hmm, I don't know."

"Please, Dad," the boy begged. "I promise I'll use them every day."

"You do realize this is a very big commitment, I assume."

"I know, Dad."

"They're also fairly expensive."

"I'll use them, Dad, I promise."

"Well....okay."

The father then pays for the equipment and they headed for the door.

"Awww," the son whined. "You mean I have to carry them to the car?"