Favorite this joke Fred was going out to lunch one day when he passed by a pet shop with a sign in the window reading, "Puppies for sale, only $10 dollars."
Unable to resist such a good deal, Fred went inside and bought one. As Fred arrived home a few moments later, his wife Louise came to greet him. "How was your lunch, dear?"
"Actually, I didn't buy lunch today." Fred replied.
Louise looks at him quizzically. "You didn't?"
"No," Fred replied. "You see, I passed by a pet shop with a great deal on puppies and ended up spending my money on Elvis?"
"Elvis?"
"Yes," Fred replied. "I ate nothin', bought a hound dog."
A man visiting his neighbor's house is shocked to see their little boy pounding nails into their expensive coffee table. "How can you afford to let your son do that?" he asked his host.
"Oh, it's really no issue," the host replied. "I get the nails cheap."
Harold and Jack are about to rob a bank. Harold says, "All right, Jack, now here's what to do: go into that bank with this gun and this bag, hold the gun on the teller and tell her to put all of the money in the bag, then run back out before the cops show up. Meanwhile, I'll be out here in the car, taking all the chances."
Jack says, "Now wait just a minute, Harold, If I'm the one running in there with the gun and the bag, getting the money and running back out before the cops show up, how are you the one taking all the chances?"
Harold replies, "Because I can't drive."
Frankie: "So, I took my girlfriend out for dinner at this fancy restaurant last night; she orders a bowl of soup, and wouldn't you know it, she finds a fly in her soup!"
Jeff: "Oh, that's awful! What did she do?"
Frankie: "Well, she turns to the waiter and calls, 'Waiter, remove this insect!"
Jeff: "And what happened then?"
Frankie: "He kicked me out the door."
Free Daily Joke