Lady at hat shop: "I would like to buy the hat with the red apple, yellow bananas and purple grapes, please.

Cashier: "Certainly, ma'am, would you care for a hat box?"

Lady: "No thank you, I'll just eat it here."

Little boy: "Mommy, what happens when a car gets so old and rusty that it won't move anymore?"

Mom: "Someone sells it to your father."

After a diner had finished his meal at a restaurant, the waiter brought him the bill, which read,

Omelete: $2.00

Tea: $.50

Take this back," the diner said, "And rewrite it as omelette with two T's." The waiter obliges, as he takes the bill and leaves. A few moments later, he returns with a new bill, reading:

Omelete: $2.00

2 teas: $1.00

A diner at a restaurant is becoming very impatient with his slow waiter. "Excuse me," he says to the waiter as he passes by. "Have you been to the zoo?"

"Why no," the waiter replies.

"Well, you might enjoy it," the diner replies. "You'd get a real charge out of watching the sloths dash around."