Fred collected lots of money from trick-or-treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate.

"You should give that money to charity," said the sales girl.

Fred thought for a moment and said, "No, I'll buy the chocolate. You give the money to charity."

Frequent hand washing in my job as a medical technologist and the harsh weather combined give me very dry skin.

One night as I prepared for bed, I rubbed my hands with petroleum jelly and covered them with an old pair of white gloves. As I sat in bed reading a book with my gloves on, my husband finished showering and came into the room wearing a towel.

Drying himself off, he went to the closet, selected a tie and put it on."What are you doing?" I asked.

"Well," he replied, "if you're going to be formal, so am I."

A five year old boy went for a weekend trip with his grandparents. On the way home, they stopped at a country restaurant for lunch.

The little boy left the table to use the restroom by himself. A moment later he returned with a confused look on his face. He says, "Grandpa, am I a rooster or a hen?"

A man tells his doctor that his wife has laryngitis.

The doctor said there was nothing he could do to cure it.

The man said, "Cure it, I want to prolong it!"