A father was driving nails while constructing a play house for his children. The youngest boy asked if he could hammer a nail. The father granted his request and showed him how to do it.

The boy did as his father had explained and lightly tapped to set the nail before hammering it in but he struck his thumb. It wasn’t enough force to bruise or break the skin but the father also knew it couldn’t have felt good.

After a few more attempts with the exact same result the father asked his son if he could help. His son quickly answered by saying, “Yes, would you hold the nail so I can get a good swing at it?”

Teen #1: I took the girl you set me up with to a matinee, we watched the Wizard of Oz. Afterwards we went to brunch.

Teen #2: Sounds great, will there be a second date?

Teen #1: I don’t think so, during the meal she kept clicking her heels together three times.

Teacher: If two people told you they walked five miles in a straight line into a desert how many miles would they have walked together?

Little Johnny: They would have walked 10 miles together.

Teacher: That isn’t correct Johnny, they walked 5 miles together, so the answer is 5 miles and not a combined total of 10 miles.

Little Johnny, nope, it’s 10 miles and I’ll betcha a buck.

Teacher: You’re on! Now explain to the class how you arrived at 10 total miles. BTW, I’ll let you off the hook for the dollar.

Little Johnny: You said two people told me they told me they’d walked in a straight line five miles into the desert. How could they have told me this unless they walked backed? That’s ten miles in my book and I’m not letting you off the hook, change will be fine.

A guy walked into a bar and noticed they had a huge Silver Back Gorilla sitting at the end of the bar on a short wide barstool.

The guy asked the barkeep why they had a gorilla. The bartender replied, “That’s Joe-Joe, he’s trained to give CPR if someone drinks too much. So what’ll you have there buddy?”

The man replied, “A Shirley Temple.”