A guy kept boring his friends by going on and on about his ideas for a musical based on his life.

Eventually one of them said to him, “Look man, there’s no need to make a song and dance about it!”

Why did the doctor carry out blood tests on the secretarial candidates?

So that he could eliminate type-O's.

Dorothy, The Tin Man, The Scarecrow, and The Cowardly Lion are all playing high stakes Texas Hold’em in Oz.

After a few hours, when it came to betting the antes, The Scarecrow turns to Dorothy and says, “Dorothy, we all put up our antes. Where’s your ante?”

Dorothy quickly replied, “I’ve already told you. My auntie’s in Kansas!”

Teacher: Little Johnny, if one and one make two, and two and two makes four, how much does four and four make?

Little Johnny: That isn’t fair, teacher. You answer the easy ones yourself and leave the hard ones for us.