Once a terrible golfer hit a ball onto an ant hill. He went over the ant hill to hit the ball. No matter how hard he tried, all the golfer managed to do was to hit the ant hill and kill many ants.

At last, only two ants remained. One turned to the other and said, “If we want to stay alive, we’d better get on the ball!”

Fred: What is the name of your dog?

Betty: Ginger.

Fred: Does Ginger bite?

Betty: No, but Ginger snaps.

Father: Didn’t you promise to be a good boy?

Little Johnny: Yes, father.

Father: And didn’t I promise to punish you if you weren’t?

Little Johnny: Yes, father. But since I’ve broken my promise, you don’t have to keep yours.

A father was very proud when his son went off to college. He came to tour the school on Parents’ Day, and observed his son hard at work in the chemistry lab.

“What are you working on, son?"

“A universal solvent,” explained his son. “A solvent that’ll dissolve anything."

His father whistled, clearly impressed, then wondered aloud, “What will you keep it in?”